Let the farts roll. I mean no one can hear them over fireworks anyway right? The fireworks go..I let one rip. Who can tell over that sulphery smell anyway. I just let them rip. Mostly I don’t care. There are a few times it matters not to fart, but mostly I don’t care!
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Man the slow stench of a fart in the summer is rough, especially when there is little or no wind. An SBD is the worst. I was at a party last weekend and my farts were rough. I hadn’t gone #2 in 2 days. I farted and walked but it wasn’t enough. One of the guys at the party bitched about the smell. Luckily, my friends dog was there and I blamed it on the dog! He bought it but man I thought I was gonna be super embarrassed at this party. Later in the night I was sure to go in the bathroom or outside when I had to fart. After the party was over, I went home and woke up around 3am and almost had to run to the bathroom to make it, but I did. I was in there a good 30 minutes or more. Somehow just a few hours later I was farting again, and man did it STINK! Crazy!
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When I was younger my sister would give names to farts. “Poogastination” was his first attempt at renaming the fart. No origin for the word, the word was just fun to say. I guess she mixed “poot” and “gas” together and added “tination” to make it sound like a word.
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A guy sits in front of TV all day, farting like there’s no tommorrow. But not just gassy airish farts, I’m talking mega greasy wet ones, the kind that would make your dog puke.
His wife, understandably is angry, and says: “One day Honey, you are gonna fart your guts out.”
The next Sunday, as wife is preparing Turkey for sunday lunch, Hubbie falls asleep. The wife spies an opportunity to get her own back, so she takes the innards of the turkey and places them in the underwear her husband is wearing. She then went back to cooking the turkey. Later on that night, her husband came to the dinner table looking very frightened.
“What happened?” asked his wife.
“Well,” the man said, “you were right. I farted my guts out.”
“What did you do?” asked his wife.
“Well with the Grace of God and these two fingers I got ‘em all back up in there!”
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Hope all my American friends had a nice Memorial Day. I went away to the shore for a few days and had a great time. Thank god for the surf air to hide my stinky farts. I just love coleslaw and I went to a party and let’s just say I had ALOT! I enjoy it what can I say?
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